The Types of Men You Find at a Wedding.

The recent outburst of weddings and anniversaries during the past month has inspired to be write a post about one of the phenomenons present in each and every wedding. This post tackles the type of male attendees that are usually present at such events (these also apply to females but with small variations). I always try and be on the look out when I'm at weddings trying to categorize people and this here is what I have concluded.

1. The Glancer. This is the most common type of men. This guy basically just sits at the table he was appointed to and is in no way involved in the dancing. The closest thing he has to participating is the fact that he glances over his shoulder ever so minutes and looks at the dance floor for a short time. In now way should you expect this person to get up and join the dancing.
Where to find this person: Usually this person is found on his aforementioned table but don't get fooled, he might easily have moved to a table with more glancers for socializing purposes.

2. The One with the Munchies. This guy is the one here not for the wedding but the dinner buffet at the break. He will sit around at the table, scanning the dance floor or maybe even socializing with others until the moment that the buffet is announced. He is usually the first at the buffet as he makes sure to check up on it at time intervals or even ask one of the waiters to let him be the first to know when food time is announced. After dinner this person will greet the lovely couple and head else where.
Where to find this person: At various spots before dinner, first at the buffet at dinner and no where to be found after dinner.

3. The Socializer. This person is in no way here at the wedding to dance. He dislikes dancing and loud music and would stay as far away from the dance floor as possible. This guy is here purely to socialize and hangout. He will advance from one table to the next talking and gossiping with the folks at the table, usually the Glancers and other Socializers.
Where to find this person: This person is probably the hardest to locate as he is in constant motion and a search party is required to find him.

4. The Dancer. This person spends the whole night at the dance floor. He doesn't necessarily need to be a good dancer, good stamina is the mere requirement. He doesn't care whether he's dancing with male or female friends as long as he is hoping around the place. The only time this guy sits down is at dinner time and he's usually the first to finish and re-join the dance floor.
Where to find this person: Where else, the small wooden dance floor at the center of the hall.

5. The Clapper. This guy right here actually tries to participate in the whole ceremony but doesn't really know or want to dance. He will basically stand at the edge of the dance floor and just clap with the rhythm and acts as support to the "Dancers". Usually, a group of Clappers will encircle the dance floor acting as both a crowd for the dancers and as a barrier between the dancers and other guests not involved with the dancing.
Where to find this person: At and around the dance floor and at their tables for a small time to recover some stamina.

6. The Judge. This guy is basically all over the place, and his one target is to judge every single thing at the event. From the DJ, to the dresses and even the food, nothing escapes his judgment. He usually delivers an instant verdict to the ones around him without care or courtesy.
Where to find this person: This person can not be found at a single place per say. They might be at the table, the dance floor or even the toilets. Keep and eye out for them.

Honorable mentions:
The I need a wife/gf. This one can be a mixture of any of the previously mentioned categories but with an addition of scouting for someone to be with.
The Brother. This is usually the brother of the groom or bride and is usually very busy and handles everything behind the scenes.
The Old people / Children These are just around out of general courtesy for the bride and groom.

Sorry about the quality and noise in the images, just didn't know half the people in these images and it didn't feel right to put these pictures. These pictures don't indicate anything about the people in them, they are just there to help visualize the categories described

12 Responses to “The Types of Men You Find at a Wedding.”

  1. # Anonymous Chris

    Honorable mention: The Categorizer :D  

  2. # Blogger omery15

    Hahaha I like the name, just don't really get what he does?  

  3. # Anonymous Chris

    Hmm.. I think you do, but just in case you don't, that would be you doing the categorizing of people at weddings, Mr. Categorizer! :P Astute observations, btw. Definitely your 1st honorable mention, but it tends to be a little bit stronger in the ladies. A semi-typical American scenario: First, the "love is in the air and I'm really jealous so I'm gonna try to make you forever mine" type appears (or reappears). Then, the "forget that, get me the hell away from this wedding" type keeps their distance. Finally, the "many drinks later, maybe, okay, I'll give it a try" type makes a rash decision. :D  

  4. # Blogger The Burdened Mary

    Hahahaha I thought this was hilarious. In Mauritius, we have our own versions of these things (although it seems ALLLL men are there to look for a new wife) and so reading about this sparked some memories..  

  5. # Blogger omery15

    Hahaha Chris your comment is just hilarious. Yea never thought of myself as a "Categorizer" but truth be told I somewhat do always place people into categories. And I guess these do apply to all people not just Arabs nor just men.

    Burdened Mary, like I said it's kinda all over isn't it, but it's not like it's an only male issue, these kinda work for the whole lot.  

  6. # Anonymous Anonymous

    lol I love the one with the munchies. I have a cousin like that... He suddenly gets serious and tells us to stay near when the buffet opens. I used to think it was a joke... Now I'm not so sure.


  7. # Anonymous Musa

    Excuse me but I can't help it:
    Number 5
    Line 2
    really "know"
    Last sentence old people children,
    I prefer courtesy

    Feel free to delete comment after corrections  

  8. # Blogger Rand

    I did the female version of this a while ago here , meh, it's more fun on our side :P  

  9. # Anonymous Anonymous

    hehehe 7elween :))  

  10. # Blogger 3emad

    HAHAHAHA!! I love this post!  

  11. # Blogger Bint Mahmood

    Haha, nice post!
    In South Africa, we don't dance at our wedding thus most of the guests fall into one of the other categories! In addition we have many 'Match-makers' who spend their time deciding which guy would make a perfect husband for a girl. Pretty frustrating when they pursue the topic further!  

  12. # Blogger omery15

    Bint Mahmood, wow that's actually pretty weird, never thought of people in South Africa not dancing in wedding, but I kind of know what you mean. There are plenty of wedding here that have no dancing and are segregated. So I guess they are more or less the same.  

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